It's Daddy's birthday.
It's kinda a quiet one. He worked, I worked, Andrew worked, and Michael did some, too. Mary came by and your siblings have called.
Have you been hanging around? How are you? Do you miss us, too?
It seems so strange that the world just keeps turning, life is moving on. Your niece and nephews are getting bigger it seems every time I see them.
It's been seven months tomorrow, seven months and so many more to go.
I've been feeling numb lately, and tired, almost like I'm just marking time and going through the motions of living. I guess that's normal, whatever normal is.
I do love the picture we chose for your headstone: that cheeky smile with the shirt that says, "Smile, it makes people wonder what you're up to." I see that and smile through the tears.
Someone close related an experience while in the hospital and very ill. They spoke of family members coming to them through the dark fog and hugging them, loving them, and reminding them why they wanted to come back.
Did that happen to you? Did you feel us loving you, praying for you? Did you feel me holding your hand all those times we sedated you to give your body a fighting chance? Did you hear me saying I needed you to fight?
And was it your soul speaking to me that last time telling mine that it was time to let go? That was the one time I didn't ask you to stay. And when I finally gave permission to the team to not try to restart your heart if it stopped.
And less than three hours later, it did.
I miss you, Aaron. Miss you so much.
Love you, little man,
Mama
“One of the greatest titles in the world is parent,
and one of the biggest blessings in the world is to be one.”
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