Home for the holidays (mostly).
I feel like I missed December, pretty much did.
We put up the tree the day after Thanksgiving (of course!) and were admitted the next Wednesday, only five days later.
Came home on the 21st, so just 4 days before Christmas.
Yep, missed most of that. Missed making cinnamon roll bread for teachers and neighbors. Missed the nightly advent stories and songs. Missed the music and church services.
But we didn't miss Aaron. He's here. Another Christmas with him here with us.
As I walked the halls at Primary's, I looked around at those who were also there. The ones clinging to hope, the ones who were trying to find hope. And the ones for whom hope was fading.
It's a bittersweet experience being at the hospital during the holidays. Staff know it's hard and they try to empathize. Community rallies and donations literally pour in: stuffed animals, blankets, toys, meals. But still, you're there, where you'd rather not be. At the same time, you're there with your child, who is still living, when many are not.
I sat with a family as they lost a child. My own frustrations and worries faded as I held Mom. I don't think I said much. What could be said? Nothing would make it better. My own heart ached so much for them.
Aaron came home with me. Their child did not go home with them.
So I guess, in the true spirit of Christmas, we didn't miss anything. We have family and love and everything we need. Aaron is (very slowly) starting to improve. He's still tired, oh so very tired. His feedings are progressing much slower than I'd like them to. He's still fevering, but it's low grade (100.4-100.9). He has an eye appointment tomorrow morning to check on the infection that has plagued him for several months now but flared even more during our most recent stay. It's hard for him right now. I am hopeful that things will improve and his spunky spirit will return.
But in the end, regardless, he is ours. Our son. And we've had another year where Tiny Tim's crutch is still needed, still used, still loved. God bless us, every one.