Sunday, August 4, 2024

I Will

Dear Aaron,

I spent this morning looking through family history documents trying to find who painted a picture I had a copy of.

Some people refer to those my age as the sandwich generation, caught between our children and our parents, both needing help. Today I realized for me it is different, in a good way. I'm sandwiched between my amazing children and my incredibly strong ancestors, including my parents. 

Sandwiched between giants who hold me up, cherish me, and give me strength to do better. 

Many of those who have gone before me have buried babies, some of them multiple babies. They endured hardships far beyond anything I have yet, and I hope never to experience them. And yet, they moved forward in faith. Faith that life was still good, still worth living.

My children have their own challenges. Yours have been well documented while others have been silently endured.  And yet, you persevered, and they still do as well. 

I found a feather in the grass tonight. I don't remember ever seeing a feather outside. But tonight, after Jonny and Avanlee and the kids left, there it was, a small white feather. 

A reminder of you.

I love you, Aaron. I'm gonna make it, even though it's hard. I will also persevere. I owe it to those who came before, and to those who come after. 

I owe it to you.

Love,
Mama

“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
— Gandalf 

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