Tender Mercies

I'm not strong.  I've had people tell me that over and over.  But I'm not.  I'm weak, I'm frail, I doubt and I fear.  And sometimes those get the best of me.  But I also know where to look for strength.  Because there is One who knows all, who has felt all, and who loves me beyond measure.

This week has been a difficult one.  Besides the very obvious, Papa Bear's death and Aaron's most recent hospitalization, there have been other stresses.  A soccer tournament, a good thing, but also a busy, time consuming activity.  I left my purse in a store parking lot.  I'll never know who turned it in, but I am beyond grateful for their integrity.  There was so much of my "life" in there.  I left Aaron's suction machine at home on Wednesday.  That may not seem like a big deal to most.  We really don't use it all that often.  But when we need it, it can mean the difference between life and death.  And so on. Just "life" type things.  The "how do we make this work" stuff.

But today, today I was touched.  In church, a verse from the Doctrine and Covenants was quoted.  Thy days are known, and thy years shall not be numbered less; therefore, fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever.  (D&C 122:9)  My mind went both to Papa Bear and to Aaron.  He knows them, He loves them, more than we can.  And their days are known.  It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.  I truly believe that to not hurt, we would have to not love.  And that would be sad indeed.

Then the hymn, "Families Can Be Together Forever" was sung to close the meeting.  How I love that hymn, the truths taught.  I'm grateful to have been taught that we are eternal families, that we will see each other again.  It's not "good-by" but "until we meet again."

My sister-in-law wrote a beautiful song from notes that she took when Papa Bear spoke to us the last night at our reunion.  I printed it out and went to find a piano so I could hear it.  As I sat down, there was a hymnal on the music board with writing in the front.  I looked at it, and once more, I felt Father reaching out to say, "it's okay.  I know your pain, I know your fears.  I'm here."  The inscription was a quote from President Hinckley:

We know not what lies ahead of us. We know not what the coming days will bring. We live in a world of uncertainty. For some, there will be great accomplishment. For others, disappointment. For some, much of rejoicing and gladness, good health, and gracious living. For others, perhaps sickness and a measure of sorrow. We do not know. But one thing we do know. Like the polar star in the heavens, regardless of what the future holds, there stands the Redeemer of the world, the Son of God, certain and sure as the anchor of our immortal lives. He is the rock of our salvation, our strength, our comfort, the very focus of our faith.

Yes, He is my Father.  He loves me, He loves our family.  He will not leave us alone to struggle through things.  I am so grateful for this knowledge and comfort.

Remember, O Lord, thy tender mercies 

and thy loving kindnesses; 

for they have been ever of old.

Psalm 25:6