So are you guys hanging out? Did you come get her? Were you in the room in Arizona with her and Grampa and Liz and Chelle and Tricia?
I may be a Gramma now myself, but oh, I still need my mama.
I sit here in tears. Like you, I think she was ready, but we were not. Years ago Grampa asked me gently if I would ever be ready to let you go. And I replied quickly, "no". It's the same.
Peace and agony.
So grateful to be her daughter.
She taught me so much.
And tonight, tonight it just hurts.
I'm sitting here listening to music, and the song, "Just Let Me Cry is playing. I know I'll find joy again, but right now, oh my boy...
Last May I told her I couldn't do another loss this year because i knew that would get her to let me call the ambulance (which she needed!). But in saying that, I knew I could if I had to. I said it to push her. Before we left Arizona not even two weeks ago, I told her I was sorry. That I said it to bully her. And that if she was done, she shouldn't stay for me because although I would hurt, I wouldn't quit.
I think she rallied to get to Thanksgiving, and it was wonderful, but oh...
Last night when it became obvious that she was leaving, I asked her to find you, to hold you, to care for you until I get there.
So give her a hug for me?Hold each other close?
Love,
Mama/Becky
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