It helps, mostly. I hadn't ever realized that the time change in spring meant it stayed light later, and that extra daylight helps my mood quite a bit.
I'm a bit restless, antsy, and I don't know why. I miss taking care of you. There's a lot of things I could fill my time with, but somehow I don't. Although last Friday I did come home from work and clip Sophie (she needed it so badly) and vacuum the house. Last night I made dinner for tonight after we ate. Tonight I ought to do something for tomorrow night, but maybe we'll just grill when I get home.
The Memorial Tribute at Primary's is coming. We received the invitation today and I have 20 words to describe you in. I think I want to mostly use adjectives. I don't want to waste pronouns or articles on how we see you. But I'm also at a loss as to what to say.
How do we convey all that you are, all that your life was, in 20 words? Oh, baby...
I volunteered at this the last two years, and I'm guessing I might again next year. But this year, I'm attending as a parent. I could see it coming. I knew it would be my turn. But oh, I hoped not.
Daddy and I have been talking, and I think we were blessed with 22 more months that we were supposed to have to prepare us. I'm grateful for that preparation, for those whispers and nudges, but nothing could have really competely prepared us for what was coming. And in spite of those promptings, we were still caught off-guard.
I drove past your grave again tonight on my way home. I like checking on you, but it hurt and I suspect it always will.
I love you, little man. I hope you're running, playing, smiling.
Miss you.
No comments:
Post a Comment