Some Days are Hard

Dear Aaron,

Some days are just hard. And there's not a real "reason."

I sat with a sweet friend in Relief Society today and someone else was talking about having her son appear right by her side the day after he died in a plane crash. Honestly, I'm not sure whether my friend asked me, or I asked her ('cause I know I was thinking about it as we listened) if we had felt our loved ones. I think she asked me. I know I said no, I hadn't felt you with me, although I've dreamed about you three times. She said she hadn't felt hers either. 

The teacher asked if we'd ever felt alone, and what we had done, or what happened, or something like that. (I think that might have been what prompted the story.) I just couldn't...

I know I'm not "alone" but it feels like it so often, especially somehow in the middle of a group. 

Anyway, I know I'm not alone. I know God is with me. I know Christ knows what it feels like and understands. I am so grateful for the Atonement and the Resurrection, but still... 

Like I said, some days are just hard.

And this is one of them.

Oh, my baby, I miss you so much. 

The weather is getting warmer, the sky is brighter, and it helps my spirits.

But nothing takes your place or fills the Aaron-sized hole in my heart. 

I just miss you.

Love,
Mama

"This I know: there is nothing as lonely as grief."

~Abby Geni