Tincture of Time

Last night there were gut-wrenching sobs on the unit.  A young man was curled up against a wall, head buried in his hoodie, other family members standing around outside the room, sobbing quietly.  It doesn't take a detective to know it wasn't a good thing.  A sweet soul, much loved, slipped Home last night totally unexpectedly.

It kinda brings things into perspective.  Aaron's struggling, a lot still, but he's making progress.  I think they'd like to see it coming faster, but it is coming.  Yesterday, he needed somewhere between 65% (only stopped there for a few minutes) and 100% oxygen which isn't really a good thing.  But since we maintained 85 or better sats for the vast majority of that time, I like it.  See, the day before, he'd had times where we struggled to get above 72 on 100% oxygen.  And funny, people talk about giving "110%" or "200%", but really, you can't give more than everything, 100%.

Wanting to see more progress, we increased his PEEP back to ten, where he was from when he was trached until March when we were trying to wean off the vent.  That I was fine with.  But when they started talking about increasing to 11, I asked them to be cautious.  His lungs were always pretty hyperexpanded at ten and I didn't want to risk blowing them out (yeah, crazy mama).  So when he'd spent several hours at 90 to 95% FiO2 (amount of oxygen delivered), they decided to add on nitric oxide (NO) to help dilate his lung blood vessels to help him.  The jury is still out on whether or not it's working.

When the team rounded just now, they talked about time.  A friend of mine who's also a pediatrician once said that "tincture of time" was her favorite.  And sometimes, that's just what you've got to do.  So we'll do it.
I know he's being lifted up in prayer.  Please keep praying for healing.  My biggest fear right now is what happens come Thurday or Friday.  See, in the past, he's done pretty well through his first few days of a cold.  It's about day five to seven that his pulmonary hypertension usually kicks in and we need help.  I'm really hoping that this is one of those that comes on fast and furious and then just coasts to a stop.  'Cause if that's they way it plays out, we're probably over the hump.  If not, well, please just keep praying.

Who forces time is pushed back by time; 

who yields to time finds time on his side.  

~The Talmud