Memories

Dear Aaron,

November.

Almost December again.

98 weeks (will my brain always count weeks?)

I'm sitting in the airport getting ready to go see Grampa for his birthday.

It's still dark outside, but with the time change the drive to work looks different. The mountains are dark against a lightening sky. Or if I'm heading west, I'm still in shadow but the peaks glow in the sunrise.  By the time I come home, darkness covers the land but the sunset paints the horizon in coral, orange and red.

Yesterday was the Primary program and your Linnaea was so articulate. And so tiny. She stood next to another girl her age and only came up to Ruby's shoulder. I was beset with memories. 

An early song was "A Child's Prayer." I remember all the times my parents encouraged us to pray, knowing that He was there, would listen, and I felt like a child again in need of that comfort.  

I remembered the program in 2019. (click the link to hear him do his part) 2019 was a good year, a happy, healthy year (mostly). It was the first (and last) time you were part of the program.  You said, "I love Heavenly Father and Jesus, and being with my family." 

Then the children sang a new song, "The Miracle" and I had tears again in my eyes. He is a God of miracles.  You are one of His miracles. Your life was and you continue to be a miracle, helping and strengthening. And I still miss you. And I miss Gramma. 

Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming. Last year we were with Gramma and Grampa for Thanksgiving, and I put Christmas up just before we went. This year I think I may put it up next weekend. Yes, it's early but I need the light, the peace, the comfort. 

I'm deciding that just like grief, there's no "wrong" way to celebrate, to remember. I want to remember. I don't want to forget. 

I love you, kiddo.

Thanks for being part of my life.

Love,
Mama

Jesus is a God of miracles;

Nothing is at all impossible to Him.

But I know this:

Of all His miracles the most incredible must be

The miracle that rescues me,

The miracle that rescues you and me!

Shawna Belt Edwards