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| Are you in the stars I see in the night? |
My soul hurts. I am weary. This is hard!
Today a few different people, including a caregiver and unit secretary asked how I was doing, and I answered honestly, "I'm okay, most of the time I'm okay, but sometimes I'm not." And it's true!
But tonight seems to be a "sometime."
I went to the ward picnic tonight and fought to stay as long as I did. Oh, everyone was great, nice, talkative. Linnaea had a great time and Barrett was so cute. The food was fabulous. And I just felt so alone anyway.
I miss you so much.
Tomorrow, the Sunday before Mother's Day, is Bereaved Mother's Day. And I don't even want to get out of bed.
How has it been 71 weeks without you, and yet if I hold still and close my eyes, I can almost feel your hand in mine, your soft hair under my fingers, smell your skin. But when I open my eyes, it's all gone, vanished away.
You were the strongest person I ever met.
Will you please lend me some of that strength?
Love,
Mama
“A broken heart bleeds tears."
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