As we were trying to shovel it out this morning (because of course the snow blower broke), I was thinking about you.
But I guess that's nothing new. I don't know that you're ever very far from my mind.
But I was thinking about how diligent your brothers have been, especially Michael, in getting the driveway and walks cleared quickly so you could get down to your bus. And get back up from your bus. And we would try to clear the big chunks at the end of the driveway where your bus would stop.
And we would also clear the straight walk across the front of the garage so if we had to call for help, paramedics could park in the driveway and not have to navigate steps with the gurney.
It was kinda like an insurance for me. If we cleared it, it would be fine. If not, we would be in trouble. In fact, I think I remember that your last trip north, we had snow on the ground and hadn't gotten it cleared, so the paramedics also helped clear the steps before taking you out.
Maybe we should have done it and you wouldn't have had to go? I know that's not really how it works. It was your time. You were so tired. You fought so hard for so long. But still....
Does it snow in heaven?
Do you get to play in it?
Making snowballs and building snowmen and igloos?
Or are there flowers blooming and butterflies around?
It seems so strange to go to church with Daddy and Michael, and without you. I don't think I've done that in over 13 years. Often we all went together when it was safe. But during most winters, Daddy and I would take turns staying home with you. There's so much more room on the pew now, too much I think. Do you come sit with us? Are you there? Or are you busy doing other things that need to be done?
I miss you, Aaron. Miss you so much...