It's been a good weekend, and a rough one too.
Your cousin, Stephen, got married yesterday with all the wonderful celebrations that go along with that.
And today Michael spoke in church and we had family and friends over after.
Really good things!
He spoke about friendship, and about you. You two were great friends. He talked about the way you made him feel, how you helped him process and focus on joy. He mentioned feeling you at his last track meet, going to see you after to tell you how it went, and sensing that you already knew because you let him know you had been right there with him. On a misguided attempt to climb the mountain close by, when he wasn't sure how to get back down, everywhere he looked he saw butterflies and felt you near. You're still the best of friends, just not currently in the same dimension.
And I hope he feels you on his mission as he helps and teaches others about Christ and love and families.
Your hummingbirds come frequently to their feeder. They zip in, eat, sometimes perch on the bar, and occasionally fight off one another. And every once in a while, one comes over right in front of me, looks directly at me, hovering just a couple feet away. This morning it happened, and I wondered if it was a sign that you are near.
The hard part about the weekend is that it started with a migraine. It's probably been 10-12 years since I had an aura. Those start with a tiny pixelated area; usually I don't even realize it at first, just that my vision is "weird." But when I look closer, I notice the pixels instead of clear vision, and it grows. That's my warning that I've got about 45 minutes before I'm down and out for the count. I guess in some ways it's helpful because I have warning before the pain hits. On the other hand, it usually signals a pretty bad one.
My brain is still, more than 48 hours later, pretty fuzzy. It's bad enough that if I hadn't just been cleared with a bunch of heart tests, I might go in. But given that they all came back perfectly, I think it's a matter of working through the garbage my brain is currently throwing at me.
So I'll go to bed early. And hopefully I'll sleep well.
And maybe, just maybe you'll come see me while I sleep.
Please...
Love,
Mama
The language of friendship is not words but meanings.
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