Saturday, April 11, 2020

Week 4: Hitting our Stride?

I know, I know, I missed week three.  It happened, trust me. 

We're hanging in there.  Funny, in a lot of ways, we've been prepping for this since Aaron's birth, but preparation and execution aren't always the same thing. 

Last week (week three), we got into some routines.  School work was being done (mostly) and chores were not.  Sound about right?  I signed up for my online class and started looking at things.  Aaron continued working on his school with his nurse. 

This week was spring break, and we took it!  No school for the boys, a bit more "projects" that have been languishing, and lots more movie time.  I finally got my closet (where Aaron's meds are kept) organized and cleaned out.  Now I actually know what we've got.  Amazing, huh?  And I started my class, got assignments and started turning them in.  We'll see if I've got what it takes to go back to school after almost 30 years. 

Aaron and his brothers even got hair cuts.  Yeah, it was past time.  Pretty sure I did them last during winter break.  But hey, it happened this week!

Aaron is doing pretty well.   Allergies are kicking both of us, but we do what we can.  I have started trying to put into place what needs to happen if I get sick.  From what I'm hearing, many struggle just to walk a few steps, or even sit up.  I can't be out of commission like that.  Not that I'm planning on getting this, but then neither was anyone else.  I'm trying to transition him away from his blended diet.  If I get sick, or if he ends up in the hospital for any reason, it would be incredibly difficult to maintain that.  And I don't want to have to make changes when things are already stressed. 

It's quiet around here, especially on Sundays.  I miss my big kids.  They don't come around because we're trying to keep everyone safe.  But Sunday dinners with five of us instead of 14 or 15 is a bit of a change.  I guess it's six, because Aaron is here even if he's not actually eating with us.  He does now have room to be at the table, and thinks it's really funny to put his feet up on it.  His brothers laugh at him while telling him that's not nice.  I don't think he's going to learn anytime soon...

I made masks for everyone this week.  They're cotton with a double layer of non-woven interfacing for filter.  The good news is, they're also easily washable, and each one is different, so it's easy to tell them apart.  I never thought I would put medical masks in Easter baskets.  But I also never dreamed that I'd be dropping off Easter boxes to my kids who don't live here.  Later today, we're going to go out for a drive and do just that.  We packaged them this morning and then we'll call each one as we put their box on their porch and wave at them.  Oh, boy.  This one is kinda hard. 

My cute granddaughter is six months old!  I'm so glad she was born six months ago, and not during this thing.  We got her to wear a mask by sewing a binky into it.  She still wasn't quite sold, but it was much better than the looks she gave me when I tried to see if I was making it the right size.  It was like, "Gramma, you're trying to smother me??!!??"  Shocked, worried, a little scared...  Yeah, it was kinda funny. 

I'll be honest, I'm kinda struggling.  It's hard being home all the time, never going anywhere.  I love my family, and there aren't even that many of us here right now, but to be with the same people, day in and day out, not see others...  One of the reasons I love subbing is that I get to interact  with soooo many people!  Here, it's me, William, the kids, and whatever nurse is here (although usually they're here while I'm sleeping).  Sometimes Linnaea comes up so her mom can work.  But that's it.  And it leaves a lot of time for thoughts and feelings and, well, whatever.  But also no real "alone" time, which I also miss.  I'm learning more about who I really am, and some of it is pretty good, and some I'm not that thrilled with.  I suspect that's the way it is for most of us. 

So this Easter, like this spring, is kinda different.  I'm grateful for the opportunity we had to fast yesterday in a world-wide fast.  I'm so glad for the chance we had to watch General Conference last weekend and the messages that were imparted, messages of hope and courage and strength.  I know where my strength comes from, and when I am still and listen, I feel the peace my Savior brings. 

I have no idea what the future is bringing.  No one does.  But with my Savior's help, I know I can find the strength and peace to make the most of it. 

I know not what the future holds, 
but I know who holds the future.  
~Author Unknown

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