It's Deborah's birthday today. Another one you're missing. We celebrated her and Avanlee and Linnaea on Sunday, but today is the "real" day.
She was such an incredible support when we were waiting for you, and then again after, through the years. She was the first to learn how to change your trach and bag you and give you your meds. She ran the other kids around and kept tabs on them when you and I took our "vacations" to the Hotel on the Hill.
She now has her own children and is such an amazing mother. I think I was pretty much still a child myself when she was born, only 22. You two are my bookends, surrounding the others and teaching all of us.
Today is also the Wave of Light where everyone lights a candle from 7-8 pm creating a wave of light across the world in memory of children gone too soon,
I've done this for 14 years now, but never in your memory. When I tried to take a picture of your candles, my phone just started snapping them. It recognized your smile. What a wonderful smile you have.
I miss you, Aaron.
I love you so much.
I do wish you were still here, but much more for me than for you. I keep remembering your last almost two years and how hard those were for you. Toys we got for Christmas 2021 because you played so much with them at school were largely left untouched.
I watched as a client today manipulated some of them the way you did initially, but not after February 2022. You didn't have the strength, or the energy. What a warrior. Thank you for continuing to endure.
I'm trying to as well. You kept smiling, kept trying. I guess I do too.
Love,
“Not all siblings walk hand in hand, for some are in heaven while others walk on land.”
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