Happy Halloween??

Apparently it wasn't anxiety talking. (Or maybe it was and she was right.) 

We made it 25 hours.

Sunday was good, really. But about 2 am on Monday he needed more so I gave him a breathing treatment and turned up his oxygen.

And at 4 am.

And at 6 am when it was time for his regular breathing treatment and vest anyway.  It was scheduled for then, but he was also needing it. 

He was supposed to go to school, but at the last minute, we decided against it. Good thing.

We tried everything to keep this kid home. 

I ended up having to cancel my last appointments for the day and headed home.  We discussed ambulance vs bringing him up but that would have still meant we needed at least two of us because he was not tolerating being on his ventilator.  Looking at the time, we opted for the ambulance.

And then because he was pretty tenuous, they opted for the lights and sirens. 

Sigh...

It's a little frustrating. By the time we got upstairs (and it was really only a few hours, less than 4 from when we walked in the door) the specimen that was pulled from the trach was already growing out garbage. 

We didn't fully treat the tracheitis. Oh, we thought we had, but there was this niggling doubt in the back of my mind. I didn't have a reason. His white blood count had trended steadily down into the normal range. He wasn't quite a stable as he usually is. But here we are again.

Got home about 4 on Sunday. Called the ambulance at 5 on Monday. 25 hours. 

And now we're in the PICU on a hospital vent because he can't tolerate the regular one.  He isn't tolerating his vest treatment.  He's not being fed at the moment because digesting food also takes oxygen and energy and so I stopped that yesterday afternoon as well. And he's tired. 

So I guess it's tricks for him instead of treats. 

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I'm sitting here trying (sorta) to not feel put upon and sorry for myself and looking for a quote ('cause you know I always have to have one.) Staff comes to round and just as the doctor speaks, the code tones sound. They're gone, and I pray for the child, the family, the staff. And somehow my problems don't seem quite so big or important.

It's no coincidence that four of the six letters in health are "heal." 

~Terri Guillemets