Wednesday, August 31, 2011

What do you say?

What do you say to someone whose heart has been ripped out?  When your own heart is breaking right along with them. "I'm sorry," seems so inadequate.  "I know how you feel" is just untrue.  "He's in a better place" may be true, but you know what?  Here wasn't so bad.  And he was loved, cherished and an integral part of their life.  "He's all better now" is also true, but they can't see him anymore.  He has left his earthly shell behind and moved on the the next world.  But they're left behind.  In a book I once read, Death referred to those who still lived as "the leftovers."  We get left behind while they move on to other things.

A beautiful, bright smile was stilled two days ago and I still can't figure out how to wrap my mind around it.  Little Caleb Adamyk, Mighty Mouse, has fought a good fight, has finished his course, and has kept the faith, but the rest of us still have to go on.  So what do you say to his mom, his dad, his older brother?  Words just can't convey meaning well enough.  Jeannette has been there in every way possible since we "met" over a year ago on facebook.  She's been there with funny things, good medical advice, and wonderful phone calls.  This is a woman whose faith in our Savior is immense, but right now, so is her grief.

Jeannette will have a lot more time now.  Way too much.  Our kids do take up an enormous amount of time and energy, but so what?  While sometimes (often) exhausting, what a blessing to be able to care for and love someone who gives back so much love unconditionally.  I LOVE Caleb's smile.  You can see the joy in his eyes, his love of life.  I ache as I think of how empty the hours will be now.

I don't want to be silent, because she needs to know I care.  But the words all sound so pithy to me.  So I cry, and as I do, I pray.  I pray that God will wrap his arms around her and her family like a blanket.  That He will grant them peace and comfort.  That somehow, my love will be conveyed to her.  And she will find the strength to keep breathing.


  1. Beautiful post, Rebekah. Your thoughts convey so much more than mere words.

  2. I don't have anything adequate to say... but I want you to know that I appreciate what you're sharing with us. And my heart is aching, too.

  3. A Beautiful post and I LOVE the pictures! I'm sorry can say it all when it comes from the heart! Those words (I'm sorry), a hug, the supportive smile, the understanding over the next days and weeks go beyond what simple words do! For me personally, its the understanding and patience as I struggled with my "new normal" that meant the most! And the remembering that I was struggling a month, 6 months, a year later that helped me move forward with my struggles and loss! These next days are so difficult, I continue to life the entire family up in prayer!

  4. Sorry Rebekah, I forgot to put my name in the last post! Many hugs to you and Aaron!!
    (Jordan's Mom)