My Warrior

Dear Aaron,

This popped up in my memories yesterday.

In 2016 you were invited to the Warriors over the Wasatch preliminary show. The Thunderbirds were flying and there was even the opportunity to meet and visit with the pilots and crew! So exciting!

Except you had other plans, or your gut did.  You'd been having trouble for several days and finally landed yourself at your own personal favorite playground: the PICU. And somehow, they weren't inclined to grant you a pass for the field trip. 

So you stayed behind and played, and Daddy, Mary, Andrew and Michael picked me up and we went to see them. Michael stood in for you and they sent a pin and a plane (actually several planes) back for you. I pinned it on you but you were much more interested in the jet itself. 

I also got some fun video of you talking and playing. I wish I had taken more video. They make you come alive again for me, for those brief moments when I watch them. I smile, sigh, sometimes laugh and often shed a tear. 

You were and are my warrior, my inspiration, my strength. You taught me that darkness can be overcome, to look deeper, try harder, work, and then rest. You taught me that sometimes tincture of time is the best prescription. And sometimes the answer is simple and as basic as the right kind of food. You taught me to keep moving forward even when it's scary, maybe especially when it's scary. 

79 weeks tomorrow since I told you good night. 79 weeks on Saturday since you woke up in heaven and I stayed behind. It still aches. I'm still trying to learn...

Miss you.

Love you.

Love, 
Mama

“The most authentic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love and to be greater than our suffering.”

― Ben Okri