Dear Mama

Dear Mama,

Six months ago you slipped from this life (it was also a Wednesday). Two days from now is Aaron's 15th birthday. Are you planning his party? Will it be amazing? If you have anything to do with it, I bet it will be. I wish I had an invite. I mean, I wouldn't stay, but coming for a visit would be wonderful, except I don't know that I would actually want to leave. 

Morning walk with the
dogs and Esther.

I'm here with Daddy but I leave today to go back home. It's been good, quiet, introspective and also wonderful to reminisce with him.  He's doing okay but misses you more than any of the rest of us do, and that's a lot. 

We went to see you on Sunday and again today. I've noticed rocks that people have left at Aaron's spot, and I left one by your light-up dragonfly. I have no idea how long it will stay before someone pushes it back into the other rocks, but I know it was there, and I suspect you do, too.

It's weird being here without you. Just not the same. I wander around the house looking at old memories. I found two cross stitch pieces I made you, and while I know you treasured them, I wonder if you knew how much making them helped me. They were a way to change my focus from the stress of college classes and recenter my own self. I saw the little china girl who used to have a small dog attached to a chain and lit up. The dog and chain are now gone, and I don't know if she still lights up, but I seem to remember it came from Nana's. 

So many reminders...

Miss you so much. Give Aaron a hug for me and tell him "happy birthday," 'k?

Love,
Rebekah

“My mother is a never ending song in my heart of comfort, happiness and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune.”

– Graycie Harmon