I went by your site today. I took down the St Patrick's Day flowers and put up new ones and Easter eggs.
It's Trisomy 18 Awareness day today, and honestly, this was probably one of the few things I never thought about having to face after you were gone. I've wondered what Christmas and your birthday would be like. I have thought about placing your headstone and your angelversary date.
Since you've passed, each Friday/Saturday catches my heart. It's been 12 weeks, and now we're coming up on three months...
But this one caught me unawares.
So many people wore blue for you today. Family, friends, even some of my coworkers. Some who knew you closely and dearly, and others who only know you online. As they tagged me in pictures, I felt their love.
It touches me so deeply to know others miss you too, that you influenced their lives as well.
I think I'm doing okay, although I can be a bit scatterbrained. Saturday I went to the store to pick up a few things. Lucky it was just a few things. I was almost home when I realized I couldn't remember paying for them, and I couldn't find the receipt. Came home, called the credit card company, and nope, didn't pay for them. How embarrassing! So I went back again. Sigh...
Yesterday was a bit hard, too. I'm going through the motions, trying to make sure I'm where I'm supposed to be, doing what I need to so that I can heal. I don't think that means I'll ever stop missing you, or that the ache will ever fully leave. But I hope that I can find joy again. I have faith that I will.
I love you, little man.
I miss you.
It is the first purpose of hope to make hopelessness bearable.
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