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Tuesday, January 30, 2024

Frustrating Experience


Tonight has been frustrating.

Your new Tobii is going to a man who was severely injured many years ago while serving the Lord. His talker is old, outdated, and he's needing something better. 

But I'm trying to reset things so he has what he needs, and not what we've put on there. 

An IT person I am not! 

But I think I finally figured it out. 

Bleh!

You are blessing soooo many lives, my son. And maybe the frustration is keeping me from crying, maybe... 

It's hard, so hard.

Moving forward without you is still something I don't think I understand very well. Last night Daddy asked if using your earthly belongings to bless others brought me joy. I don't think so, not yet. It does help comfort me though.

Last night I sat at the piano for the first time in ages, probably years. (And you could tell listening that it had been that long.)  I sang the songs I sang to you in the hospital: "Edelweiss" and "The Sound of Music" among others. It felt okay. Not quite good, but okay. And tonight I sang in the car. It was a melancholic folk song, but still, I sang. I think I'll keep trying to use music to help me along.

Love you, kiddo, love you so much. 

Miss you too. 

“To live in the hearts we leave behind is not to die.” 
— Thomas Campbell

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