Not a Lot to Report

Not a lot to say.

He's still in the PICU, still somewhat sedated, still on pretty high vent settings.

BUT, he's still in the PICU, still somewhat sedated, still on pretty high vent settings.

There are much worse alternatives, and we were almost living them. 

It's five days until Christmas, and it's looking more and more like we'll have it here. 

He has been weaning on his sedatives, but that comes with it's own set of challenges. It's been medically necessary (absolutely!) but he's been on drugs that have calmed his brain and forced his metabolic system to slow down. Stopping those can be rough, but we're hoping to be off of one tomorrow, and then we can work on the other, which is already at a pretty low dose. 

He's still on higher vent settings than we can go home on, and he hasn't made any progress on his nitric. We have to wean his oxygen before we can tackle that one. This virus is hard!! It's definitely done damage.

He is completely (and fingers crossed it stays that way) off his blood pressure meds. No, not the kind that keep your pressures lower; the ones that keep the blood high enough to move around the body. I mean, it's kinda hard to oxygenate cells if no oxygen is moving to where they are. 

We got rid of one of the banks of IV pumps and the "brain" that goes with it.  He is still fevering from time to time but it's low grade and (I think) less often. 

Overall, we're moving the right direction.  It's going to take "tincture of time." For an inpatient mama, that's kinda hard.

Yet, over the years, my window of tolerance for what I can handle has grown. It's had to. It's been stretched and sometimes pummeled. I've watched as traumas have been brought in by Lifeflight. I've heard the codes being called overhead. There are those for whom this is completely and totally outside anything they've dealt with, ever. And they'll be spending Christmas here, too. 

My heart goes out to them. Yes, I'd much rather be at home. I miss the Christmas lights and baking. I miss spending time with my grown kids who will be gathering and hanging out. But we've done this before. It doesn't make it easy, but it is bearable. Because there is another reality which is much harder, more unbearable.

So I'm grateful for what we have. 

“Christmas is not a story of hope. It is hope.” 

- Craig D. Lounsbrough