Be Still, My Soul

We've made it to the floor!  They made the switch to his Trilogy vent about midnight last night, and he spent most of the night on seven to eight liters of oxygen.

Yeah, on our vent we measure in liters instead of percentages.  I know, confusing.  But anyway, we HAVE to be below five liters and really should be below four in order to come home.  We've spent some time at four today, actually quite a bit.  But when he's active, he's back to eight.  So probably not tomorrow, but maybe Tuesday we can get sprung.  Hoping...

Anyway, church services today were really good.  As always, it seems that it's the music that really touches me.  And the four numbers today really fit together to remind me of my Savior, of His strength and love and protection.

The opening hymn was "Jesus, Lover of My Soul."  We sang of His refuge, of His protection from the storm.  The image of Him covering and sheltering me, standing between me and troubles.  No, they're not gone, they won't be gone.  But He is there as a comfort, as a haven, as a buffer for them.

In "Jesus, Once of Humble Birth" I was reminded of all He has done to be my Savior.  He has been there, walked the path, suffered, bled, died and rose again to save me.  Now He is glorious beyond description.  He bore my sins, my mistakes, my sorrows, my griefs, and my joys, my triumphs.  Because of what He went through, He knows how to be my shelter from the storm.

"I am a Child of God."  Yes, I am.  I am His child, and He loves me.  He stands by me, knows my needs, knows what I need to become like Him.  And "Be Still, My Soul" reminded me that He does know all.  And His plan is infinitely better than any I can come up with.  He is by my side, and although many things, all other things, change, He does not.  He is faithful, always.  When I can't see, when I'm confused, He is not.

With so many unknowns, with so much uncertainty, I needed these messages today.  I have been anxious these past few days, chaffing that Aaron wasn't improving as fast as I needed him to.  Notice again where my focus is, on me, my plans, my thoughts.  School is starting soon, and I worry about how things are going at home.  I want to be there, need to be there, want to be here, need to be here.

But what I really need is to listen, to be still, to trust.  No, things aren't going to be perfect.  But that's okay.  If it was easy, we wouldn't grow.  Muscles don't grow without resistance.  And I can't become who He wants me to be without struggle.  He is my best, my heavenly Friend.  And I needed that reminder today.

Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav'nly Friend

Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Katharina von Schlegel